TV Boyfriend Bracket Voting Round One: The Nice Guys

First things first – your winners from the It’s Complicated bracket:

  • Big
  • Tim Riggins
  • Dylan McKay
  • Sawyer
  • Mark Sloan
  • Alex Karev
  • Pacey Witter
  • Doug Ross

Not a single upset in the bunch. Michael Vaughn was close, nearly giving my friends and me a heart attack over the past few days, but Tim Riggins (rightfully) squeezed out the win at the end.

So after all those complicated guys, you probably need to cleanse your palette a little, right? Switch to someone a little more accessible, less damaged, more like what you’d take home to your parents. I present to you The Nice Guys bracket.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

(1) Jim Halpert – The Office
Go ahead. Try to pretend you don’t want to date Jim Halpert. Try to pretend you don’t love the floppy hair and rolled eyes at the camera and sarcastic remarks and pranks on Dwight. Try to tell me that it’s not totally endearing how, even though Michael drives him crazy, he really, truly considered him a friend and looked out for him. Go ahead and act like it didn’t absolutely make your heart melt, when after a casino night held in a paper warehouse, he poured out his heart to the receptionist he’d loved for years. Can’t pretend any more? Then just admit it. Every girl wants a Jim Halpert in their life.

versus

(16) George Altman – Suburgatory
He’s an architect from New York City who selflessly moves to the boring suburbs so his teenaged daughter can have a better life (really, he found condoms in her bedroom and lost his damn mind). He’s an excellent friend and croquet partner. He’s always up for a good time but also ready to talk you down in a moment of crazy. Also, he’s pretty damn cute. So cute, you might find yourself busting out a chorus of “rollin’ with the homies.”

(2) Marshall Eriksen – HIMYM
Pros: Ridiculously sweet guy. Devoted to his family. Has loved his fiance since his freshman year of college and has never wanted to be with anyone else. Works as an environmental lawyer. Has proficient baskiceball skills. Writes songs about getting slapped, and then slapped Barney Stinson. Several times. Strongly believes in the Loch Ness Monster. Cons: Um… he strongly believes in the Loch Ness Monster?

versus

(15) Dev Sundaram – Smash
We don’t know much about Dev yet, but here’s what we do know: he’s handsome, he has a great job in the mayor’s office, he has a spacious Manhattan apartment, and he supports his actress girlfriend. Oh, and did I mention his British accent?

(3) Chandler Bing – Friends
Could he be anymore lovable? Chandler Bing is the guy that could easily be your best friend turned boyfriend. He will make you laugh by offering a sarcastic answer to almost any comment. He’s always trying to be a better boyfriend and follows advice from friends such as the “hug and roll” and a numbered diagram of the female anatomy as a guide to sexual fulfillment. He has a stable job as a transponster, he’s had a gym membership for years, and when the pressure is on, he will crack and confess his love for you instead of having all the sex with one of your best friends. I bet you can’t wait to rip that sweater vest right off him!

versus

(14) Chris Brinkley – Up All Night
Say you want to have kids, but you don’t want to give up your career. Enter Chris Brinkley. He gives up his job as a lawyer to stay home with his newborn daughter. And it doesn’t hurt that he’s ridiculously adorable, loves his wife enough to try to graffiti a message to her on the side of the highway the way he did years ago, and looks like Will Arnett.

(4) Ben Wyatt – Parks & Recreation
He’s a brilliant, sexy, little hummingbird. He likes claymation and bankrupted a town at age 19. But he owns a Batman costume and will never complain when you suggest waffles for breakfast in the morning.

versus

(13) Crosby Braverman – Parenthood
Even though he couldn’t have always been described this way, Crosby is a devoted family man. He quickly stepped up and accepted the responsibility of being a father when he was introduced to his five-year-old son. Besides being charming and funny, Crosby is also a passionate musician who was able to turn his passion into a career by opening a successful recording studio.

(5) Aidan Shaw – Sex & the City
If you’re interested in a mature, supportive man, looking for a committed relationship, Aidan Shaw is for you. He’s not afraid to introduce you to his parents, to give you the keys to his apartment, or ask you to get “maui’ed.” He makes beautiful furniture, which will be helpful when he buys you an apartment and is manly enough to do the construction himself. He’s got boyish charm and has given thought to which superhero he’d be. Sure, he can make some corny jokes and sometimes wears too much man-jewelry, but if he can forgive you for having an ongoing affair with a married ex-boyfriend, I think you can find it in your heart to forgive him for those minor issues.

versus

(12) Noel Crane – Felicity
Because Felicity followed a guy all the way across the country, and when she got there, it was Noel that got her attention. And because you wish you had an RA that was as cute and wonderful as Noel Crane.

(6) Zack Morris – Saved by the Bell
The original TV crush. Fun, cute, smart (1502 on the SATs, dude). Early adopter of cell phone technology. Can freeze time around him. If I’d had a boyfriend like him in high school, my life would’ve been so much cooler than it actually was. He’s the kind of guy who is super successful at whatever he does, whether it’s fronting Zack Attack or founding Buddy Bands, though you’d have to put up with Screech hanging around if you dated him.

versus

(11) Josh Lyman – The West Wing
The White House Deputy Chief of Staff. He’ll work long nights and probably have to cancel a date or two. But he’ll be the champion of your own interests and invite you to State Dinners, where fancy ballgowns are required.

(7) Phil Dunphy – Modern Family
Phil Dunphy is a grade-A dork. But he is a super lovable, would do anything for his family, hilarious dork. He tries so hard to be a cool dad, and the teenager in me rolls my eyes, while the grown woman in me thinks it’s sweet. Hobbies include role playing with his wife as strangers meeting in a bar, not fixing the loose step that everyone always trips over, and smuggling snacks into games and movies. Distinguishing characteristics: real estate agent, fear of clowns, former college cheerleader, obsessed with Apple products, especially the iPad.

versus

(10) Dr. Greg Butters – Ally McBeal
He is a doctor. He is beautiful. He is kind-hearted and patient enough to deal with the most neurotic woman in television history (that would be Ally McBeal). And oh my goodness, he can sing

(8) Nick Miller – New Girl
Nick is the friend who’s always there for you. He helps you get over a breakup, and he’ll let you sit at his bar for hours, and then all of a sudden you realize… this is a great guy. He’s the kind of guy who brings champagne to your office on Valentine’s Day and waits for hours while you finish work. And sure, he has a credit score of 250, but that can be fixed, right?

versus

(9) Steve Brady – Sex & the City
Who would want to be with a uni-ball bartender? Ummm…who wouldn’t if the uni-ball bartender in question was Steve Brady? He’s not some full of shit guy; he’s a sweetheart who fulfills the urban myth of the one-night stand that turns into a real relationship. He’s not intimidated by a strong, successful woman (just don’t try to buy him a new suit) and he’ll be there to offer you a supportive hug and a smile when you most need it – like if you drop a jar of tomato sauce on your floor or your mother dies or you conceive a child with him in the special Olympics of reproduction. Mutual mercy fucks welcome.

There you have it. Which of these nice guys has your heart? Place your votes below… as usual, you have 48 hours. May the nicest guy win.

Advertisements

24 thoughts on “TV Boyfriend Bracket Voting Round One: The Nice Guys

  1. This was way harder than the last one. I suspect it will only become more difficult…

    Though I’m a huge Jim Halpert fan, I think I’m hoping for Ben Wyatt to take it all. He’s slightly an underdog because he’s not as high profile as a lot of the others, but so amazing. Go Ben!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s