Second date, deconstructed.

Second dates might be harder than first dates. You don’t have the first date jitters to blame, and you’ve obviously had good enough conversation in the first date to warrant a second. So there feels like there’s more pressure.

Second date with Pittsburgh was two nights ago, and it was… good. Good enough to go on a third date. And at this point, I’m taking things one night at a time, because that’s really all I can do. My brain naturally wants to go into overdrive. I tend to always think about what’s next – in life, in work, in dating – and I’m trying not to let myself do that. So, to keep my over-reactive mind under control, a brief list of pros and cons:


  • He’s nice. The conversation flows easily. He makes me laugh.
  • We do have a lot in common – whether it’s lamenting the possible loss of Jordan Staal or discussing the casting of the Les Mis movie.
  • He calls me out on my Pittsburghese pronunciations. I’m actually not sure if it’s a pro or a con, because I like to think I’ve lost my Pittsburgh intonations, but it’s kind of cute – as long as he doesn’t do it all the time.
  • He picked one of my favorite New York bars, without knowing it was one of my favorites.
  • He let me discuss Jordan Staal, Seth Meyers, Mike Richards, and Jeremy Renner all at various points in the same night and didn’t run out the door screaming. (Though, to be fair, I kept it reined in. Way reined in.)
  • He offered to cook for me.


  • He called Seth Meyers “girly.”
  • I’m apprehensive about his job situation. I find the fact that he’s an actor impressive. As someone who always wanted to make a living doing theater, I am even a little jealous. But I’m just apprehensive.
  • I’m still not sure what I bring to the table. My things are sports and music and theater and Pittsburgh. He’s got those covered. I like teaching something new to the guy I date – and learning something new, too. So I’m not really sure where to go with this one.
  • I’m still terrified of dating.

I’m stopping myself there, because my mind is getting dangerously close to that bad place… the place where I’m envisioning all the awful ways we can break up, and we’ve been on two dates. One. date. at. a. time. This is the only way you can date post-divorce. It’s the only way I’ll avoid losing my sanity. But, all in all, it was a good date. Which is always better than a bad one.


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