Announcing: The Movie Boyfriend Bracket!!!

We are officially in the dead of winter. (Yesterday was, after all, the most depressing day of the year… according to Fox News.) We are facing the national nightmare that is the Harbaugh brothers in the Super Bowl. This is the time of year when there are no decent movie releases in sight. (Not even I can defend Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters. Sorry, Renner.) But there is hope in sight… for those of you who prefer spring, it will be here before you know it, bringing with it warmer weather, cherry blossoms, and March Madness.

And, as is the tradition around here, with March Madness comes… fictional boyfriend madness. This year, ladies (and quite a few gentlemen), it’s time to evaluate the Movie Boyfriend. And I need your help.

There are obviously many more movie characters than there are television characters, so we’re going to need to put some limits on the qualifications to keep things from getting overwhelming. Our official parameters are as follows:

  • The movie has to have been released in the last 30 years – so from 1983 on. Unfortunately that rules out a plethora of incredible characters, but you’ll deal. And if you want to start a Classic Movie Boyfriend Bracket, by all means, go ahead.
    • Note: Movie franchises are counted as individual movies. So while Raiders of the Lost Ark was released in 1981, Indiana Jones & The Last Crusade (the best installment, obviously, or get off this blog) was released in 1989, giving Indy his eligibility.
  • We will allow two characters per actor, so choose wisely. There is no limit to the number of characters per movie, so if you want to nominate every character from Love Actually, go right ahead.
  • We have no limitations of space and time and age and marital status. Just as in the TV Boyfriend Bracket, we’ll imagine we’re still in high school so we don’t feel too creepy about ourselves. (However, a member of my advisory committee did rule Adam Banks ineligible, because regardless of how much I wanted to date him when I was 12, I’m not 12 anymore.)
  • For movie adaptations of books, we will be looking at the movie only, and only movies that have actually been released. That means we’re evaluating wimpy movie version Peeta Mellark rather than nuanced and interesting literary Peeta Mellark – and you’re not allowed to consider Catching Fire, since the producers are tormenting us by making us wait until November.
  • Historical figures are allowed, but we will be working solely from the movie version of the person. This might be an advantage for some folks – in real life Jack O’Callahan did not look like this.
  • There will be no characters from Twilight in this movie. None. My blog, my rules.

So what I need from you is to leave your nominations in the comments – the character, the movie, why you think he should be nominated, and the appropriate bracket for him. (In case you need refreshing, the categories were It’s Complicated, The Nice Guys, The Romantics, and Get Shit Done.) For example:

Douglas Dorsey from The Cutting Edge should be in the Get Shit Done bracket, because he will stop at nothing – not an overbearing father, a boring Ivy League educated fiance, or the dreaded Pamchenko – get in the way of getting the girl and the gold medal. Plus, he’s good at foreplay.

The poll itself will kick off in March, so if you think of someone in a few weeks, you can still come back and nominate them then. Sometime before March, I’ll get together with my esteemed advisory committee and plan the bracket. (Last year involved a significant amount of wine, paper, and spreadsheets. This is a serious endeavor!)

Then the real fun begins. May the best man win!

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28 thoughts on “Announcing: The Movie Boyfriend Bracket!!!

  1. Okay I’m blowing this up but I’m just posting as they come to me. Will from Good Will Hunting.

    The lead guy from Save the Last Dance.

    Josh from Clueless.

  2. Marc Darcy, Bridget Jones’s Diary. (And Bridget Jones Edge of Reason)

    He’s Mr. Darcy for the modern girl. Intelligent and put-together. He loves you enough fight for you in a Greek restaurant (and in a fountain). But doesn’t take him too self too seriously. He does wear a reindeer jumper after all.

  3. 1. I *very* enthusiastically second Doug Dorsey–there are only two things he’s really good at sweetheart, and skating’s the other one.

    2. Neil (Ben Affleck), He’s Just Not That Into You. Nice Guy.
    The movie is terrible, but he deserves a spot just for showing up to wash those
    dishes.

    3. Crash Davis (Kevin Costner), Bull Durham. Gets Shit Done.
    Because his fantastic “I believe” speech is a total panty dropper. Also he plays baseball and will paint your toenails.

    4. Christian (Ewan McGregor), Moulin Rouge! Romantic.
    Because seasons may change, winter to spring, but he’ll love you until the end of time.

    Although I’m not sure anyone stands a change against Mark Darcy. I like him very much, just as he is!

  4. Mr. Darcy (Colin Firth) from Pride & Prejudice (counts as a movie?) in the It’s Complicated bracket or Romantic Bracket. Ultimate romance of conflict and passion, Colin Firth’s is the ultimate rendition of this role.

    Teddy (Christian Bale) in Little Women in The Nice Guys Bracket. Handsome, endearing, practically even scene of hims makes me want to swoon.

    Gilbert Blythe (Jonathan Crombie) in Anne of Green Gables – in The Nice Guys. At first you love to hate him (but he’s so cute!) and then you are tortured by how Anne can’t forgive him – still he gives and gives. I just wish the “final” movie they made had been true to the books – but not Gilbert’s fault!

  5. I’m going to go ahead and ignore your comment that “Last Crusade” is the best installment over “Raiders.” I love “Last Crusade,” and the casting of Connery was brilliant, but none of those movies come close to “Raiders of the Lost Ark.”

    I’m very interested to see who the ladies nominate. I doubt anyone will receive as impassioned a plea from me as Coach did last year.

      • Guilty of doing the same. Truly, it’s like arguing between Sid and Geno. Either way, it’s a great. I just think one is a little better than the other. Plus, Karen Allen was the ultimate Indiana Jones female foil (Disregarding “Kingdom of the Crystal Skull,” which I, like the show “Chuck” will ignore ever happening. Indiana Jones ended with them riding into the sunset at the end of “Last Crusade.”).

  6. I see that Colin Firth has been nominated as Marc Darcy… twice. I’d like to throw Matthew Macfadyen into the Mr. Darcy ring. I loved this version of P&P (the one with Keira Knightley as E. Bennett) and watch it every time it’s on… and own it on Blu-ray… don’t judge…

  7. what if the actor is no longer with us? (sadly)

    i’m all for heath ledger in 10 things i hate about you. would that be ‘it’s complicated.”?

  8. Harrison Ford as Jack Trainer in Working Girl (Nice Guys) and Michael Nouri as Nick Hurley in Flashdance (again, I think Nice Guys), plus the latter movie was filmed in Pittsburgh…

  9. everyone loves lloyd dobbler, but i actually think that cusack’s character in “grosse pointe blank” would make a wayy better boyfriend. martin blank gets shit done.

    you need clooney in “out of sight” for obvious reasons. it’s complicated. and also ryan reynolds in “definitely, maybe.”

  10. A.J. Frost (Ben Affleck)- Armageddon (Get Shit Done)
    Jesse (Skylar Astin)- Pitch Perfect (The Romantics)
    Zack Siler (Freddie Prinze Jr.)- She’s All That (It’s Complicated)
    Ben (Jimmy Fallon)- Fever Pitch (Nice Guys)
    Lance Harbor (Paul Walker)- Varsity Blues (I don’t remember enough about his character to categorize him, but I just remember thinking that he was SO hot)
    Dr. Kevin Fields (Michael Vatran)- Monster-in-Law (Nice Guys)
    Blane (Andrew McCarthy)- Pretty in Pink (It’s Complicated)

  11. So Ryan Gosling from crazy, stupid, love needs to be in the It’s Complicated category. Yes he starts out as somewhat of a man whore. However….he is hot, gorgeous, and ends up being an awesome boyfriend who actually punches a random man to stick up for his girlfriend’s dad. who wouldn’t want to end up coming home to him every night????

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