Anatomy of a kiss.

HUGE GIANT SPOILER ALERT in case you haven’t watched New Girl this week or live under a rock and don’t know what happened. And if you haven’t watched it yet, what the hell are you waiting for?

Let’s go back to Tuesday night, shall we? I’m sitting at the Penguins game, watching my team not even attempting to do anything resembling the sport of hockey. So I check Twitter between periods, right around 9:30pm, and I see a barrage of tweets all resembling this sentiment:

I get a little annoyed that I’ve been spoiled, even though I’d already read a hundred articles promising a “big Nick and Jess moment” in the episode. Mostly I spend the third period wondering how they kiss and what it all means and how True American fits into it, so I go home, I hit play, and I spend the entire episode waiting for THE KISS. And when it finally happens, even though I knew it was going to happen, I am completely and totally caught off guard. Because… well, take a look for yourself:

Um, who knew Nick Miller had that in him?

I watch a fair amount of television. I have been invested in many will-they-or-won’t-they relationships and first kisses, and I’ve seen some good ones. Ross and Rachel. Jim and Pam. Chuck and Blair. Still, I don’t think I’ve ever had this strong of a reaction to a television kiss. And I know I’m not alone. The internet was on the verge of self-destruction. There is an entire BuzzFeed post about it. Many of my friends have watched the episode multiple times, and over the past 48 hours, I’ve had several in-depth conversations with multiple friends, dissecting and analyzing the entire scene.

So what was it about this specific kiss? I did a very scientific poll (aka asking my friends) and received a variety of answers:

  • Nick’s Smoldering Eyes (capitalization intended)
  • The way he grabbed her arm and turned her around – that’s a Get Shit Done move
  • The “not like this” comment from earlier in the episode, because it made you realize he actually cared
  • The passion – from both of them
  • The two small kisses at the very end, because you know it was about more than just being turned on

I wholeheartedly agree with all of these points, and I’ll add a few of my own: 1, that it was so out of character for Nick – this is the same character that Jess claimed last year “never does anything” – and 2, the way he shut the door, which was basically the equivalent of a mic drop.

What made the kiss soooo good – so freaking hot – was a combination of all of those things, reminiscent of my former favorite scripted kiss of all time. (Move over, Gosling. Nick Miller is the new standard.)

So, men, let this be a lesson to you. There has been a resounding chorus among my friends of “damn, I want to be kissed like that.” We know we can’t have perfect hair or perfect lighting, and we all know there probably isn’t some guy out there secretly pining for us. We’ve all had great kisses, but I’m willing to bet few of us have had a jaw-dropping I can’t believe that just happened kiss. Which is unfortunate.

Every woman should be kissed like that at least once in her life.

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3 thoughts on “Anatomy of a kiss.

  1. That episode was amazing. I agree with you and your scientific poll why that was a great kiss. I would add that another reason the kiss was so freaking hot was the lack of music during the kiss. I think it kept the moment real instead of – you’re watching a television show and we put music during important moments.

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