Let’s take a quick break from the Movie Boyfriend Bracket (voting on the Complicated Bracket is still in session – vote here!) to discuss last year’s TV Boyfriend Bracket. The bracket was a success, and I can’t argue one bit with the winner, but if I were to do it all over again this year there would definitely be some new changes. I’d add a few new guys to the competition – Tom Branson, Peter Quinn, and Dr. Danny Castellano, for example – and I’d seed Vaughn a little higher, because damn, you ladies love Michael Vartan. For the most part, though, I think it was a solid bracket and that we got most of the seedings accurate.
With one very big exception.
Nick Miller of New Girl was slotted in at #8 in the Nice Guys Bracket, losing by only two votes to Steve Brady of SATC in the battle of the bartenders. That was a year ago, following a few episodes in which we learned his credit score was 250 and he proceeded to get drunk with college girls and get lost outside the car. Fast forward a year. I joked last night about redoing the bracket as “Nick Miller vs. Nick Miller,” and I wasn’t entirely joking. If we did the TV bracket this year, there is no doubt in my mind that Nick Miller would give Coach Taylor a serious run for his title.
The thing is, I have no idea why.
(Spoilers ahead, maybe, if you’re not up to date on New Girl.)
I can pinpoint the exact moment when I was first attracted to Nick Miller – it was the very end of last season’s finale, and after moving his stuff out and spending the night in the desert with his old mix tapes from high school (which included such ’90s staples as Breakfast at Tiffany’s and How Bizarre), he surprised his roommates by moving back in. At the end of the episode, Jess opened her bedroom door, and there was Nick standing at his door, with a flirty little smirk on his face, and I thought, “huh. I can see the love now. He’s adorable.”
This season, though, the adorableness has morphed into straight up sexiness, and all of a sudden, every female I know who watches the show is completely in love (and in lust) with Nick. And it’s not like Nick is that desirable of a character or that good looking of a guy. He’s cute, and he’s sweet, but the show makes a point to tell us what a mess he is all the time.
Let him describe himself to you in his own words:
“I’m very poor. Having a checking account would be an honor. I’ve written a zombie book. It’s terrible. I’m a slow runner. I’m obsessed with karate.”
He quit law school. He just started doing his laundry this week. He has pleasured himself to a mail-order steak catalog. This is a man who once decided that walking around the zoo drunk was the same as getting the experience that Hemingway had in order to become a writer. He pronounces wi-fi “wiffy.” He is a grumpy old man in a 30-something body.
He panic moonwalks away from confrontation. He misspelled “rhythm” 38 times in one zombie novel. He wears a hoodie almost every day. (Side note: I had a post in progress about how men should pay more attention to what they wear and invest in a good, tailored suit, inspired by Justin Timberlake and the men of Downton Abbey, but I don’t even care anymore, because Nick Miller is sexy in a hoodie.)
A few months ago, a guy told me he should try to be more like Nick Miller. I laughed, and told him that was nothing to aspire to, but I’m now regretting those words. Men should be more like Nick Miller. I just can’t put my finger on why.
Why is this guy suddenly the best, sexiest thing on television?
Is it because he’s a mess? I don’t have one maternal bone in my body, so it’s not like I want to take care of him. Or, as a friend suggested, is it because, even though he’s a mess, he’s fine with it and is just himself with no games or complications? Is it because he’s goofy as hell and just doesn’t care? Is it all in the way he kisses?
Seriously, readers. Help me make sense of this. What is it about Nick Miller?