The things that go through your mind…

… when you realize someone you had a thing with is dating someone new:

  1. I hate Facebook. Facebook is evil. I’m going to hide them.
  2. I’m going to look at their page anyway, because I’m curious.
  3. I’m falling into a swirling vortex of internet doom. No, you do not need to look at their Pinterest page. What kind of guy even has a Pinterest page?
  4. I’m so much cuter than her.
  5. I want him back.
  6. No I don’t. There’s a reason I’m not with him.
  7. But I’m lonely.
  8. But you have standards.
  9. Oh my God, he got fat.
  10. Oh, dammit, he looks good.
  11. Ugh, they’re on vacation?
  12. I want to go on vacation.
  13. She is annoying me even though I’ve never met her.
  14. Seriously, I’m so much cuter. And probably more fun.
  15. Hi, red wine, you are my lover now.
  16. Maybe that was my chance and I blew it.
  17. Red wine tastes better when mixed with my tears.
  18. OK, fine, this is happening and I can’t do anything about it.
  19. I’m fine on my own. I control the television all the time.
  20. I like my life.
  21. They’re going to be sorry when I start posting pictures with Sidney Crosby.
  22. See? There is still a chance that you could end up with Sidney Crosby.
  23. Hang in there. It’s going to happen.
  24. I hope his relationship sucks.
  25. I’m happy he’s happy.

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