- Baby classes. Forgive me for being stupid, but I honestly don’t understand what a baby does in a music class or a yoga class or an art class. I’m not even being bitchy, I just can’t wrap my head around this.
- Babymoons and push presents. I hate these words with the fire of a million suns. Take a pre-baby vacation, fine. Just don’t call it an effing babymoon. That is a stupid word that didn’t exist five years ago. Push present is also a stupid term, because guess what, the present you get for pushing is your kid.
- Sexy Halloween costumes. This is nothing new, but still. Pizza is not sexy. Nemo is not sexy. WALTER WHITE IS NOT SEXY.
- “Bullying.” Listen, I know teenagers are horrible human beings. And I get that being a kid is so much harder today than it was 20 years ago. But is everything really “bullying”? The word is being thrown around so much these days that I’m starting to wonder if you’re all just raising a bunch of wimps. Oh, and being good at football against a team that is not good at football is not bullying. It sucks, for sure. But it’s not bullying.
- Why contestants on Top Chef, which is filming in New Orleans this season, have been so unprepared to cook New Orleans style food.
- Why anyone is still trying to make this Fifty Shades of Grey movie.
- Why more people aren’t watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine. It got picked up for the season, and it’s getting a prime post Super Bowl placement this year, so I’m not terribly worried about it… but all you people who aren’t watching are seriously missing out.