Ladies (and some gentlemen), it’s almost time.
I’ve met with my advisory board (aka my friends). I’ve evaluated the nominations. I’ve examined all of the evidence (often “evidence” = Google image search, but hey, somebody’s gotta do the hard work). And here is the final bracket.
Well, almost final. You have some work to do. But first, some analysis…
There are no easy match-ups in the entirety of this year’s tournament, but I don’t expect this one to get really cutthroat until round two. The theme I found ranking the entire bracket is that funny guys definitely have a strong appeal to the ladies, and this bracket is no exception – even our #1 seed, Jon Hamm, a very capable dramatic actor, has some fantastic SNL experience under his belt showing his comedic chops.
Some interesting races to watch here: the battle of the HIMYM guys at #6 and #11, 5’8″(ish) Aaron Paul versus 6’5″ massive beast of a man Joe Manganiello, and the #8 Steve Carell – #9 Rob Lowe match-up, which could absolutely go either way.
More than any other bracket, I am confident calling this one coming down to the #1 and #2 seeds: Paul Rudd and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. And with good reason. These guys are pretty much perfect, so why would you want to date anyone else?
Elsewhere, you have the battle of the Bournes (#8 Renner vs. #9 Damon), the battle of the old handsome guys (#5 Clooney vs. #12 Neeson), and the battle of guys who can serenade you with “Oh What a Beautiful Morning,” both having played Curly in Oklahoma! (#4 Hugh Jackman vs. #13 Patrick Wilson).
As you can see, we split one of the brackets into two mini-brackets, featuring our musicians and the miscellaneous ones who didn’t fit elsewhere. In the musicians, I think it’ll be hard for JT to lose this, though I know people love their Adam Levine (if he makes it out of a first round battle with his Voice co-coach, Blake Shelton). Personally, I’m also a big fan of Idol judge Harry Connick, Jr. as well as former Idol contestant Blake Lewis, but I’m just a girl who used to write an American Idol blog.
aka “Seth Meyers, I love you more than almost any man on earth, but there’s no way Prince Harry isn’t winning this one.”
For me, this is a tough one. (And trust me, I didn’t even include half of my hockey boyfriends. Restraint, you guys. RESTRAINT.) #1 seed David Beckham will be hard to beat, unless I can rally some solid support for the hockey guys (or unless you all really, really love Roger Federer, which why would you not). The real intrigue in this bracket comes in round two when, assuming they all win their first round match-ups (and I swear I didn’t even plan this), #3 Peyton and #6 Eli will face off, as will #2 Sidney Crosby and #7 Mario Lemieux in a battle of hockey greatness that will create such angst inside myself that I may not get out alive.
But before we get too far ahead of ourselves…
The Play-In Round
We couldn’t decide who to award that 16th seed to in the TV Actor Bracket, so we’re letting you do it. We have three very worthy candidates, playing in the first ever HIMTM Boyfriend Bracket Play-In Round. (The NCAA changed their brackets, so why can’t I?) You get to now decide who will receive the #16 seed and the dubious honor of eventually losing to Jon Hamm. Your candidates are…
Jason Bateman has been our tv boyfriend since his days on Silver Spoons and The Hogan Family, then he came back better than ever on Arrested Development. He’s very cute and self-deprecating, with a totally killer deadpan sense of humor. Bonus points for all the Family Ties gossip you’d get from his sister Justine.
Dax Shepard is as funny and weirdly charismatic as when we met him on Punk’d, but turns out he’s also great on Parenthood and straight-up awesome in real life: he has campaigned for marriage equality and against the paparazzi, offered his sperm to a fertility-challenged friend, rented a sloth to fulfill his beloved’s (Kristen Bell–dude’s got good taste) lifelong dream, and dressed up as Khal Drogo for Halloween.
Handsome, funny, and Midwestern – what more could you possibly want? He’s dry and sarcastic and could probably tell you stories for hours. Even if you don’t like basketball, he’ll at least hook you up with court side tickets. After many years together on SNL, you know he has Kristen Wiig on speed dial, which means best girls night ever when he’s out of town filming. And he has landed some stunning women, so you know he’s got something special going on! Plus, he can dance.
So, who’s got the chops to punch their ticket to the big dance? I’m heading out of town this week, so you’ve got all the way until 5pm on Friday to make your voice heard. May the best man win (and eventually lose to Jon Hamm!).